Lucky

So something that has REALLY been on my mind lately has been my dog, Lucky. I got him for my birthday like eleven years ago or something like that, and I love him so much. We just found out about a week ago that he is dying. The vet said maybe a few months, these kind of things we don't know exactly how long he has left.
The thought on my mind:
What am I going to do without him???

I just have no idea what I am going to do without him. He has been there for me when no one else has been. When I cry, he licks my face. When I'm sad, he sits with me. He plays with me when I am lonely, he is always there. Now, what's going to happen when he's not there??? For a long time he is all that I had. It really hurts to think that he's not going to be around anymore. Maybe the hardest thing is knowing what is going to happen and there's not a damn thing I can do about it. I wish everyday I could just get rid of the cancer and just have him live. I love him so much. I just can't imagine my life without him. When you get a dog, you don't really think about when the dog is going to die. I know I didn't. And now it's happening. I don't know what to do. I am trying to prepare myself but nothing is working. I feel so helpless.

With this and so many other things going on in my life, I have a ton of stress so.... tomorrow I am going to get a punching bag that you hang from the ceiling. I cannot wait. Seriously, I really want one and I have been having this urge for the longest time to just punch something. So maybe this will help?